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drive, the lack of

Sunday, December 24, 2006

I woke up this morning only to feel like my soul has leaked under the bed during the night, I think today is going to be a very short one… I think I’ll watch a couple of episodes from Prison Break, let’s see how much it will take to download them… They actually have great internet connections here, and the file-sharing networks are pretty good, I’m beginning to like it, if it weren’t for the beggars you see everywhere…

I like strange body positions, like hanging over the edge of the bet while typing… I hate this damn phone, nobody calls, and it God forbid, it does ring, it can only mean one thing… bad news… I hope it doesn’t, not today, I don’t feel in the mood for any favors…

I called my doc this morning, told him about the hugs, he knew about this type of activity from some paper somewhere… He made me think about it a little bit, it actually felt good, since I’m a complete stranger, in a completely strange country… a hug can be hard to find for me these days…

Ring-Ring… No, it can’t be! Not while I’m typing… Gotta go…

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Down, Under…

Saturday, December 23, 2006

The subway trains here have graffiti all over them, it’s all so urban, so degradingly instinctive, there is so much life in them but, at the same time, they reflect an alarmingly low level of civilization they have to put up with… I ask myself now, is that what I am running from? Pure white subway trains and nice bank clerks?! Is it civilization what I’m afraid of, what I learnt to hate and despise…

I emerged from the subway… only to be welcome by a group of people sharing “free hugs” with anyone wanting one, most people just pass by, ignoring them… I find it somehow amusing, it makes me wonder what is behind this, what went wrong and sent these people on the street and if they are generous in offering hugs or all they really want are some hugs for themselves…

I found a couple of nice things today, for my old friends, I only have to find a way to deliver them now, since chimneys are not so popular anymore…

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Walking slow

Friday, December 22, 2006

I took a long walk this evening… I like it here when it’s dark, there are no shiny lights all over the place like other cities, it’s a little quiet somehow, but the general atmosphere is not like the cold western way of life, there is some warmth… It makes me feel good when I have hot chocolate in my favorite coffee shop, next to a great movie theater… they play live piano music here, and it’s not very expensive either…

I hate the banking system, I don’t know why, they seem to have something against foreigners, and I don’t like having to do anything with bank clerks either…

The minute I walked out on my life… I knew it would change dramatically… Not having who to buy a gift for Christmas makes my feel awfully weird… I think I’ll send a small present to one of my far away friends… maybe a special gift… I wonder who I can help without him knowing about…

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These cats are vicious

Friday, December 22, 2006

      I’ve been here for three months now, I came to know this city, street by street, shop by shop, one club at a time… I don’t actually know anybody, I didn’t come here to socialise… I am here to let go of the past 10 years, this blog… this blog is my homework, it’s my chore, my doctor asked me to write it… and I’m not paying him that much for advices which I won’t follow…

      This city, I have heard… had a problem with stray dogs… only to be solved and replaced by an issue with cats, stray, vicious cats, that come to me… in my sleep